like the whispering wind you sent to me
like the hopeless time you gave to me
I watched your dreams all slip away
I watched your dreams all slip away
there's a hopeless place inside my heart
when I look inside I see where we are
like the whispering wind in the top of my trees
i will watch the sky come following me
like the rain on my windows late every night
like the hope I have for us every time
it's like the whispering wind in the top of the trees
I see it sway as you come for me

there's a whispering wind I feel it inside
like a place I can feel but never will see
let a whisper come touch you come touch every thing
I stand in the way of the things I can be
let the whispering wind come lift us away
let it push us apart if we wish to stay
you're my sweetness my baby my love for all time
like the whispering wind it makes you all mine
like the whispering wind you stand here with me
like the whispering wind you stand here with me
I see your dreams all slip away
slip away
slip away
slip away

1. Seize each day. Live each day as if it's your last. Leave the past behind and do not anticipate the future. Be present to enjoy the moment.
2. Be adventurous. Explore, live on the edge a little and embrace new challenges. Visit new places with your loved ones. Take the road less traveled.
3. Keep a journal. Record your accomplishments as well as your delights. Take time to reflect on what has been previously written. Be an inspiration to yourself and others.
4. Love yourself. Focus on your inner and outer beauty to see the same in others. Acceptance comes from within.
5. Love others. Love the ones who treat you right. Forget about the ones who dont. Life is too precious to be wasted on waiting for love.
6. Accept everyone. Be kind and courteous. Enjoy the company of others. Acknowledge their goodness rather than the differences in their beliefs.
7. Find purpose in life. Be selfless in service to others. Begin with your neighbor. Do charitable service outside of your immediate community as well.
8. Be realistic. Set attainable goals according to your abilities and talents. Consider each effort to be an attainment. Achieve one step before the other towards stability and security.
9. Seek balance. Understand the night and day, back and forth, good and bad in all things. Focus on good thoughts and good things will happen.
10. Maintain control. Be responsible for your actions and inactions. Be true to yourself. Maintain a personal code in the situation at hand. Find common ground.
11. Listen to your heart and soul. Listen for advice, but be confident in making your own decision. Use your instinct.
12. Clear your mind. Rituals of yoga, meditation and tai chi will replenish and rejuvenate your soul to focus more clearly on serenity and happiness.
13. Be carefree. Desires, obsessions and possessions possess you. Free yourself of inhibitions. Make an active decision to have simple daily needs.
14. Laugh. Laughter is the best medicine. It releases endorphins and promotes longevity. Inner joy is beautiful!
15. Be flexible. Accept change as a positive thing in life. At times, go with the flow that is before you.
16. List a few daily goals. Meet a new friend, swim at the lake or walk in the park. Enhance your day and initiate fun!
17. Appreciate the little things. Take a walk around your community to experience the wonder in a way that you have never experienced it before.
18. Accept death. Pondering death brings appreciation to life. Take time to appreciate the expanse and beauty of your life and our earth. Let go peacefully.

Tips

Meditation does not discriminate between Religion, Race, Age, Status and Intelligence of the person. Meditation equally belongs to everyone. But one should be ready to lose Misery, Shallowness, Jealousy and Hatred as the price of admission in world of meditation.

Meditation is not meant only for spiritual purpose or we have to leave the world and go to mountains for practicing meditation. Meditation simply means to do the things in a right way and Meditation actually adds grace to our action and makes our life a Joy. Outwardly our actions remain the same but inwardly the quality of action and life changes with Meditation. A certain grace, peace, satisfaction surrounds the person who Meditates.

There is a beautiful story. A King had two sons and king had to choose his successor among the two. So King gave very little money to both of them and said, “with this little money you need to fill your palace, who will do the best job will have my kingdom”.

First Son thought, “With this little money it is impossible to fill the palace”. So he bought the Garbage from the city and filled his palace”

Second son also knew that money is little but he went deeper into his being and he bought perfume from the money and filled the palace with the sweet fragrance.

This story is not mythological. It’s very much real because this is our story. Our heart is that Palace and our Life is the money which heavenly father has given to all of us. We can spend our time either in gathering worldly success or finding our real nature through meditation. We have the option of filling out life with Money, Fame, Success but our Heart won’t be satisfied. Only love can fill the heart.

First step towards Meditation is to realize that no amount of worldly success can make me happy. This realization should not be intellectual but personal experience of life. Once we are dissatisfied with the outside world then only we can really think about entering inside the inner world of meditation. Otherwise we will keep on gathering things in our life as the prince in story was gathering garbage. But that does not bring happiness in our life.

Meditation is a journey towards Innocence and Joy. As a child we all were alive and fresh like a rose flower. But slowly many ideas and beliefs were forced into our mind by society. With we lost the spontaneity and purity, which surrounds every child like a blessing from God. Meditation is a process to get rid of all those foolish concept of “Do and Don’t” and bring us back to that spontaneous state of childhood yet retaining the Wisdom which we have earned with experience.

Meditation is a process to “Undo what ever wrong is done with us till now”. Meditation means getting rid of all belief system and see the world with out wearing Goggles of society, Religion and upbringing. But for this ‘UNDOING’ we don’t need to do anything otherwise “that undoing will become a doing” and our very doing is the root cause of spoiling the innocence of all Child. So in meditation “we don’t do any thing”. This is the essence of all Meditations. In real life we are so much used to “doing” that if some one says “don’t do any thing and Just sit silently” then as a Sane person it’s very difficult to act on this idea.

Society has made us efficient machines. Every waking moment of day we are bothered with “how to improve our condition”. So this idea of “doing nothing” is not only difficult but seems to be very absurd also. Our very idea of being happy is linked with “doing some thing” like going for a movie, playing any game or Gossiping with friends. That’s why it is very important that we are dissatisfied with the outside world. We have done stuff like friendships, Sex movies, fame, money but nothing is able to satisfy us so we are taking jump in the inner world. Some times many people don’t even feel the need to go in to sensual world as they have understood the futility of sensual world in previous lives.

Even we are really interested in practicing meditation and we intellectually understand that “in meditation nothing needs to be done” then also it is very difficult to stop the ‘Doing’ in meditation. Doing things has become our very nature and we cannot sit idle. In meditation also we start putting our effort and it takes time to “stop doing” in meditation. Slowly we slow down and one day we learn the knack to drop the doing in meditation.

There is one meditation technique Zazen  followed in Japan. In Zazen meditator just “learns to sit ”. But if we try to “simply sit” then that sitting will carry lot of effort from our side. But for Zazen meditator this sitting comes effortlessly and it does not a effort. This effortless sitting cannot be forced. It happens one day to the meditator and to make it happen one has to try. Initially one will definitely put effort but one day Meditator gets the knack of sitting effortlessly. To learn swimming one need to enter inside the water and every one can learn swimming. One just needs to drop the fear of water and any moment one can learn the art to swim. It is the same case with meditation.

It’s totally paradoxical. The effort we are putting is the very hindrance also. But despite of that we need to put effort. Mother always loves her child but for the growth of child she some times beats the child also. Slowly, slowly with patience, with practice and through guidance from a Guru one learns to stop putting effort. When it happens then whole mystery of meditation is solved and life becomes a Joy.

Meditation is a Mystery as long as we don’t participate in it. Once we learn the knack to meditate, Meditation becomes the greatest adventure of our life. So as long as we have not learned the knack to meditate, Meditation carries a subtle effort from our side but once we learn the knack, it becomes effortless. Meditation means putting an end to all games Ego.

When ever any desire enters our mind and we do nothing about it and we don’t try to fulfill it then Unknowingly we are doing meditation. We cannot fulfill any desire and even if we are able to fulfill one desire then 1000 news desire will come in our mind by that time. Understanding this constant game of desire and ambition is very important in going deep in meditation. Meditation simply means getting out of this game of desires. 

Meditation is an art to do each and every activity of life with awareness so that Ego does not enter. E.g. when we are walking on road then apart from walking we are constantly thinking. Our attention is divided. Most of our attention is involved in thinking and only a very small amount of attention is used in walking. Physically we are walking but mentally we are somewhere else. This simple activity of walking can become meditation if we are conscious of each and every step we take. While walking our attention should not drift to past and future but stays with walking. Meditation means to do every act with out going in future or past. Staying in present moment is the total art of meditation.

At any given time there are many thoughts revolving in our mind but one prominent thought catches our attention and that thoughts takes us to past and future. Our daily acts are so mechanical that we can do them while our attention is in past or future. That’s why very rarely we are conscious about our actions. Meditation is the process to stay away from involving ourselves with these thoughts.

Meditation means watching every thought that comes to us with out participating in it. When we don’t involve ourselves with any thought and we just watch one thought coming and leaving and then another thought. Then we are doing meditation. We not only watch the thoughts but also the silent time interval between two thoughts. But in this time gap we are not sleeping but we are aware of the time Gap. And we can only be aware of this time gap if our attention has not moved to past or future.

Living in the present moment is Meditation. While eating the food if all our attention is in eating and not in past or future. Then this is meditation. It is so funny when we leave our home to go a restaurant to have a burger then on the way our attention is in future, feeling about the taste of burger and when we are actually eating the burger then our attention is some where else. We don’t enjoy the burger about which we were thinking few minutes ago. When do we actually enjoy the things, which we earn and gain after so much struggle? In meditation we enjoys because we stay in present.

Even while eating and walking thoughts are bound to come which can take our attention to past or future but we are not supposed to cooperate with them. We just need to witness them. Thoughts are present all the time but cooperation should not be there from our side. instead we should witness the thoughts. So in meditation we try to be aware in all the actions we do and at the same time we don’t involve ourselves with any thought. We just witness the thoughts.

Witnessing the thought means:

1. There is no need to analyze whether the thought is good or bad. We just need to be aware that a thought has come. Just the knowledge that a thought has entered is enough. Nothing else needs to be done about it.

2. There is no need to involve with the thought. We need to keep some distance with  the thought. There is no need to participate in the thought and give our feedback or views about the thought. If we don’t participate then soon a new thought will come and then another. Reality is that all thoughts are coming from outside but we involve ourselves with them by credit for good thoughts and feeling guilty for bad thought. Just ignoring the thought is required from our side.

3. We don’t even need to desire for silence. Desire is Mind. In deep meditation constant chattering of thoughts stops or slows down. But aim of meditation is not to stop the thoughts. Advanced meditator does not bother with thoughts. If thoughts are there “its ok” and if thoughts are not there “that is also ok”. Because this idea of having “No thought state is also a desire”. Meditator simply needs to be aware of thoughts. No body till now is able to stop the mind but one day mind stops itself when we stop cooperating with Mind.

4. The Moment we realize that we have involved ourselves with the thought. we should stop the involvement immediately and starts witnessing again. Even there is no need to feel guilty that “why we involved ourselves with the thought”. Guilt is another door through which Mind enters.

Whole day Mind is working even in sleep also. Meditation gives a break to Mind. After each meditation session we can use our mind in a better way. Meditation is an bath for our heart. We become Fresh. Mind is an wonderful servant but problem is that it had become our Master. We are not using it, Mind is using us.

What meditation is Not:

1. Meditation is not concentration. Normally there are many thoughts revolving in our mind but one thought catches our attention. In Concentration Mind gets concentrated on a single thought. All the attention is given to one thought. Concentration makes mind strong and thus leads to tension.

2. Meditation is not contemplation. In Contemplation again we are thinking. Meditation means ‘No Mind’. A state in which thought cease to exist or if there are thoughts one is aware of it.
   
   Any thing can be meditation. Walking, Drinking, eating, talking, swimming, painting, dance, watching Movie. A basic criterion is to be present in the act. Our attention is there in the act. While typing on keyboard we should be aware that we are pressing the keyboard and at the same time if any thought or desire comes then we are just witnessing them.
   
   Slowly through practice our awareness in mundane acts increases. If one starts to be aware in action then slowly witnessing of thoughts will also happen simultaneously. It is true with witnessing also. If one starts witnessing the thoughts one will be automatically aware in the actions also. In meditation also Mind stops but we are relax and that state is very joyful. All meditation techniques are doors through which we can have glimpses of those few blissful moments. Once some one taste those moments of ‘No Mind’ then one is hooked to meditation.

Some key points helpful for going deep in meditation are:

1. We don’t need to have any ambitions in Meditation. Mind strives to be a great meditator or have spiritual powers. ‘Ambition of any kind’ means Mind has again entered by back door. We just need to Meditate. But Mind will definitely try to create some ambition in spiritual world also. So one need to be very careful. No Ambition.

2. Its better to stay loose and relax in Meditation. Cheerful attitude is very helpful. There is no need to be serious about meditation. Meditation should be made playful. Seriousness is another door through which mind enters. Mind means flow of thoughts.

3. Meditation does not mean that we are doing some thing great. So we should not feel proud about it and look at others with superior attitude. There is also no need to wage a war against mind and thoughts. Friendly Attitude or attitude of deep reverence or love should be there towards thoughts but at the same time we don’t need to get involve/cooperate/analyze the thoughts.

4. Patience is very much required. Meditation is a knack. We can learn it in one day or one month. No one can tell that. Its like learning swimming. We need to enter inside water to learn it. Practicing meditation is the only way to learn it and it will take its own time which will vary from person to person.

5. If desires come, thoughts come, unawareness is there. We should accept them also and enjoy this phase of unawareness. Initially it will be there. Slowly, slowly  awareness will increase. Light from small candle removes the darkness from thousands of years. Mind asks so many questions “why I am not meditating”, “why thoughts are coming”. but we need to accept these phases also and keep on meditating.

6. Its natural to have a phase of unawareness with a phase of awareness. Its duality. But Mind will certainly ask questions. We should never try to answer these questions, just knowing that this is mind playing trick is meditation. Mind loves “WHY” and “HOW”. its impossible to answer Mind because the moment we answer one question, it will ask another question. Asking question, creating doubt is very nature of Mind.

7. Meditation is a twenty-four journey. One hour of meditation cannot fight with 23 hours of unawareness. Initially at beginner's stage one can start with 20-30 minutes but slowly meditation should enter each and every action of our life and it happens effortlessly and this takes it own time. So as a meditator we need to be patient, playful, relax and we should not look for results. It will happen one day, may be in the first sitting itself but we should not have any desire for it. Even if the desire is there then one can be aware of the desire and we should not feed that desire.

8. Its good to read these rules again but there is no need to take them seriously. We should be more spontaneous and we should trust our own intuition. As we go deep in meditation our intuition also develops. Even if we make mistakes that is also OK. Only by making mistakes one grows and learns. So we should not take all these rules seriously. They are just indications and one can only indicate. Each one journey towards meditation is unique.

9. All the best and have a Safe Journey.

Meditation is the beginning but not the end. Meditation takes us towards the end. As seed of meditation flowers its fragrance spread in real life. Dropping effort in Meditation slowly prepares us to drop the effort in real life also. All religion says “thy will be done” and “do your work and leave the results on God”. All meditation techniques are indirect routes to help us in “dropping attachment with our action/work in real life”. When ever we do our action with meditation then we are doing the things but we are not doer. There is no ego attached with the work. Meditation prepares us over a period of time to drop the effort.

So first we drop the effort in meditation and then we drop it in real life. Although we keep on doing the same work as we were doing earlier but its quality changes. Meditation does not ask us to leave the world and go to forest. Nor does meditation ask us to change our profession but Meditation prepare us to drop attachment or feeling of ego associated with the work. Meditation is a Journey in which each step brings us closer to our real home and in the end we realizes that we were already in the Home. But to realize this truth one has to travel all over the world. Journey of pleasure starts with the materialistic world and culminates in inner world, where even the ‘I’ is lost.

It’s an individual journey and every one has to make its own unique path. No one can tell the exact path of meditation but certain indications can be given for help. Guidance from Guru can make this journey shorter and is tremendous help in the path. Ultimately one knows and find out its unique path by actually walking on it. There is no other way to know about meditation except going into meditation.

To be enlightened about what? Please let us be rational. For instance, one is enlightened about one's relationship with another. That is, one has understood that one's relationship with another is based on one's image about the other, however intimate. That image has been put together through many years of constant reaction, indifference, comfort, nagging, all that goes on between man and woman.

So the relationship is between the two images. That is what one calls relationship. Now, if one perceives the truth of this, one says one is enlightened about it. Or, one is enlightened about violence; one sees clearly, without distortion, the whole movement of violence. Or one sees how sorrow arises, and the ending of sorrow is that one is enlightened about it. But we do not mean that. We mean something else: "I am enlightened, I will tell you about it, come to me".

     If we really go into what enlightenment, illumination, the voice of truth, is, then we must go carefully into the question of time. The so-called enlightened people have said that you come to it through time, gradually, life after life - if you believe in reincarnation - until you come to the point when you are enlightened - about everything.

They say it is a gradual process of experience, knowledge, a constant movement from the past to the present and the future, a cycle. Now, is enlightenment, the ultimate thing, a matter of time? Is it? Is it a gradual process, which means a process in time, the process of evolution, the gradual becoming? We must understand the nature of time, not chronological time, but the psychological structure which has accepted time: "I hope ultimately to get there". The desire, which is part of hope, says, "I will ultimately get there".

The so-called enlightened people are not enlightened, for the moment they say, "I am enlightened", they are not. That is their vanity. It is like a man saying, "I am really humble" - when a man says that you know what he is. Real humility is not the opposite of vanity. When vanity ends the other is. Those who have said they are enlightened, say you must attain it, step by step, practise this, do that, don't do this; become my pupil, I'll tell you what to do, I'll give you an Indian name, or a new Christian name, and so on. And you, an irrational human being, accept this nonsense. So you ask, what is that supreme enlightenment? A mind that has no conflict, no sense of striving, of going, moving and achieving.

     One must understand this question of psychological time, the constant becoming, or not becoming - which are the same. When that becoming is rooted in the mind it conditions all your thinking, all your activity; then it is a matter of using time as a means of achieving. But, is there such a thing as becoming? "I am violent, I will be non-violent". That means that becoming is an idea. I am violent and I project the idea of not being violent, so I create duality; the violent and non-violent, and so there is conflict. Or I say, "I must control myself, I must suppress, I must analyse, I must go to a psychologist, I must have a psycho-therapist".

     Without creating the opposite the fact is violence. The fact. The non-violence is non-fact. If you see the truth that if I am violent, the concept of non-violence brings about this conflict between the opposites, the non-fact has no value. Now to observe the whole movement of violence, anger, jealousy, hatred, competition, imitation, conformity, do so without any direction, without any motive. If you do that, there is the end of violence, which is immediate perception and action.

     So, one can see that illumination, the sense of ultimate reality, is not of time. This goes against the whole psychology of the religious world, the Christians with their souls, with their saviours, with their ultimate.

     Perception is action, not perception, interval, then action. In the interval there arises the idea. The mind, the brain, the whole human nervous and psychological structure, can be free of this burden of a million years of time so that you see something clearly and therefore that action is invariably immediate. That action will be rational, not irrational. That action can be explained logically, sanely.

Enlightenment is finding that there is nothing to find. Enlightenment is to come to know that there is nowhere to go. Enlightenment is the understanding that this is all, that this is perfect, that this is it. Enlightenment is not an achievement, it is an understanding that there is nothing to achieve, nowhere to go. You are already there -- you have never been away. You cannot be away from there. God has never been missed. Maybe you have forgotten, that's all. Maybe you have fallen asleep, that's all.

Maybe you have gotten lost in many, many dreams, that's all -- but you are there. God is your very being. So the first thing is, don't think about enlightenment as a goal, it is not. It is not a goal; it is not something that you can desire. And if you desire it you will not get it. In desiring a thousand and one things, by and by you come to understand that all desire is futile. Each desire lands you in frustration; each desire again and again throws you into a ditch. This has been happening for millions of years but again you start hoping, again you start thinking that this new desire that is arising, sprouting in you, will maybe lead you to paradise.

That this will give you what you have longed for, that it will fulfill you. Again and again hope arises. Enlightenment is when all hope disappears. Enlightenment is disappearance of hope. Don't be disturbed when I say that enlightenment is a state of hopelessness -- it is not negative. Hope arises no more; desire is created no more. Future disappears. When there is no desire there is no need for the future. The canvas of the future is needed for the desire. You paint your desires on the canvas of the future -- when there is nothing to paint, why should you carry the canvas unnecessarily? You drop it.

When there is nothing to paint, why should you carry the brush and the color tubes? They come from the past. The canvas comes from the future and the color and brush and technique, and all that, comes from the past. When you are not going to paint you throw away the canvas, you throw away the brush, you throw away the colors -- then suddenly you are here now. This is what Buddha calls chittakshana -- a moment of awareness, a moment of consciousness. This moment of consciousness can happen any moment.

There is no special time for it, there is no special posture for it, there is no special place for it -- it can happen in all kinds of situations. It has happened in all kinds of situations. All that is needed is that for a single moment there should be no thought, no desire, no hope. In that single moment, the lightning....

One day Chikanzenji was mowing down the weeds around a ruined temple. When he threw away a bit of broken tile it clattered against a bamboo tree. All of a sudden he was enlightened. Whereat he sang:

Upon the clatter of a broken tile
All I had learned was at once forgotten.
Amending my nature is needless.
Pursuing the task of everyday life
I walk along the ancient path.
I am not disheartened in the mindless void.
Wheresoever I go I leave no footprint
For I am not within color or sound.
Enlightened ones everywhere have said:
"Such as this is the attainment."

This poor monk, Chikanzenji, had been working for at least thirty years. He was a hard seeker; he was a very, very honest and sincere and serious seeker. He practiced all that was told to him, he visited many masters, he lived in many monasteries. He did all that was humanly possible. He practiced yoga, he practiced zazen, he did this and that -- but all to no avail. Nothing was happening; in fact, his frustration was growing more and more. The more the methods failed, the more and more frustrated he became.

He had read all the Buddhist scriptures -- there are thousands of them. It is said about this Chikanzenji that he had all these scriptures in his room, and he was constantly reading, day and night. And his memory was so perfect he could recite whole scriptures -- but still nothing happened.

Then one day he burned his whole library. Seeing those scriptures in the fire he laughed. He left the monastery, he left his guru, and he went to live in a ruined temple. He forgot all about meditation, he forgot all about yoga, he forgot all about practicing this and that. He forgot all about virtue, sheela; he forgot all about discipline, and he never went inside the temple to worship the Buddha.

But he was living in that ruined temple when it happened. He was mowing down the weeds around the temple -- not a very religious thing to do. Not anything specific, not anything special, just taking the weeds out. When he threw away a bit of broken tile, it clattered against a bamboo tree -- in that moment, chittakshana, the moment of awareness, happened. In that very clattering of the tile against the bamboo, a shock, a jerk happened and his mind stopped for a moment. In that very moment he became enlightened.

How can one become enlightened in one single moment? One can, because one is enlightened -- one just has to recognize the fact. It is not something that happens from the outside, it is something that arises from the inside. It has always been there but you were clouded, you were full of thoughts.

Chikanzenji burned all the scriptures. That was symbolic. Now he no longer remembered anything. Now he had forgotten all search. Now he no longer cared. Unconcerned, he lived a very ordinary life -- he was no longer even a monk. He had no pretensions anymore, he had no ego goals any more. Remember, there are two kinds of ego goals: the worldly and the otherworldly. Some people are searching for money; some people are searching for power, prestige, pull. Some people are searching for God, moksha, nirvana, enlightenment -- but the search continues. And who is searching? The same ego.

The moment you drop the search, you drop the ego also. The moment there is no seeking, the seeker cannot exist. Just visualize this poor monk -- who was no longer a monk -- living in a ruined temple. He had nowhere else to go, he was just clearing the ground -- maybe to put some seeds there for vegetables or something. He came across a tile, threw it away, and was taken unawares. The tile clattered against the bamboo tree and with the sudden clattering, the sudden sound, he becomes enlightened.

And he said: Upon the clatter of a broken tile.  All I had learned was at once forgotten. Enlightenment is a process of unlearning. It is utter ignorance. But that ignorance is very luminous and your knowledge is very dull. That ignorance is very alive and luminous, and your knowledge is very dark and dead. He says, All I had learned was at once forgotten. In that moment he knew nothing. In that moment there was no knower, in that moment there was no observer -- just the sound. And one is awakened from a long sleep.

And he says, Amending my nature is needless. That day he felt that he was just struggling unnecessarily. Amending my nature is needless. You need not amend yourself, you need not improve yourself -- that is all just tommyrot! Beware of all those who go on telling you to improve yourself, to become this or to become that, to become virtuous. Who go on telling you that this is wrong, don't do it; that this is good, do it; that this will lead you to heaven and this will lead you to hell.

Those who go on telling you to amend your nature and improve upon yourself are very dangerous people. They are one of the basic causes for your not being enlightened. Nature cannot be amended; it has to be accepted. There is no way to be otherwise. Whosoever you are, whatsoever you are, that's how you are -- that's what you are. It is a great acceptance. Buddha calls it tathata, a great acceptance. Nothing is there to be changed -- how can you change it, and who is going to change it? It is your nature and you will try to change it?

It would be just like a dog chasing its own tail. The dog would go crazy. But dogs are not as foolish as man. Man goes on chasing his own tail, and the more difficult he finds it the more he jumps and the more he tries and the more and more bizarre he becomes. Nothing has to be changed, because all is beautiful -- that is enlightenment. All is as it should be, everything is perfect. This is the most perfect world, this moment lacks nothing -- the experience of this is what enlightenment is.

Life is meaningless! To many people, this may sound like a bleak outlook, but in reality it is liberating. If life has no intrinsic purpose or meaning, no end goal, then we are free to create our own purpose, our own destiny. You don't have to spend your life trying to please some imaginary God, in the hope of pleasing him enough that he will look after you when this life is over. Without the hidden agenda of an all-powerful creator and administrator, you are free to choose your own lifestyle and your own goals.

Does this mean that you can treat others with total contempt, as a means to your own selfish ends? Yes and no. Yes, you can treat others as your stepping stones, free from the threat of eternal damnation. But no, because when you mistreat others, you teach them to do the same to you. You thereby set up a dog-eat-dog society in which you are constantly watching your back. With your eye constantly trained on your back, it's difficult to see where you're going, let alone see your goals.

Additionally, our society has created laws to discourage you from mistreating others. If you over step the mark in your mistreating of others, you may find yourself locked up. It's very difficult to pursue your goals from a prison cell. So, your freedom to choose your own lifestyle is tempered by the fact that you share this world with others, and you are more likely to get what you want out of life by not hampering their goals.

Now that you are free, within limits, to choose your own lifestyle, what choices will you make? Let me recommend to you two goals that will see you living life to the full. I will express these two goals in the broadest possible terms allowing you to fill in your own details.

Survival
The first goal is basic to all life forms. It is the goal of survival. You can only enjoy life while you are alive. It doesn't sound particularly startling does it, but let's look at how easily we, as individuals and as a society, forget this basic idea.

Many of us take enormous risks with our health, thereby shortening our life expectancy. We smoke, drink too much, drive recklessly, fail to exercise, don't get regular medical check ups, forget to take time out for relaxation, engage in unsafe sex practices, swallow tonnes of junk food year in and year out etc.

In order to survive, we need clean air and clean water, but we don't think twice about driving our air-polluting cars, wasting paper that is made from the trees that naturally purify the air, clearing trees for "development", pouring our waste into rivers and oceans, using chemicals that harm our atmosphere etc.

We elect "economic rationalist" governments that would rather grant tax breaks to their rich and powerful buddies than boost our health services, protect our environment, or eliminate poverty. Governments around the world spend billions of dollars maintaining armies and creating weapons to enforce their life-threatening policy of mutually assured destruction.

When you select survival as one of your goals, you have a duty to look after your health, to look after your environment, and to elect compassionate, peace-seeking governments.

Fulfilment
T he second goal that I recommend is the goal of fulfilment. An unfulfilled life is an empty life. You are a player in the game of life not a spectator. This means getting involved, challenging yourself, and finding out how much you are capable of, giving what you can to society, and taking from it only what you need.

Except for short periods of rest, you can not find happiness by doing nothing. Similarly, thrill seeking, and indulgence in life's pleasures such as sex, booze, and partying are welcome retreats from the grind of daily living, however, they too become boring when over done. One ride on the roller coaster at an amusement park may be fun, but imagine doing it all day and everyday. The novelty would soon wear off.

Fulfilment comes from long-term, challenging, creative pursuits such as writing a novel, raising children, developing a scientific theory, or building a loving relationship. You will find fulfilment when you look outside of yourself. When you commit yourself to making life better for others, your own life improves as a by-product of your efforts.

The twin goals of survival and fulfilment are basic, yet they are more difficult to achieve than most people imagine. In order to reach goals that are directed towards surviving and finding fulfilment you will need to develop certain qualities.

Calm
Staying calm and relaxed will help you to survive and to find fulfilment. Stress and anger will shorten your life expectancy and destroy your quality of life. When you are tense and angry, you will find it almost impossible to maintain civilised, loving, and caring relationships with others. The quality and quantity of your work will diminish. And you'll be miserable.

Staying calm in the face of challenge and disappointment will help you to see your options more clearly, and it will help you to avoid choosing options that make your situation worse. Instead of lashing out or, alternatively, stewing in your own juices, you will quietly and rationally seek solutions that lead to you getting more of the things you want out of life, and less of the things you don't want. And all this without needlessly hampering the goals of others.

Many of the challenges that we face in life are permanent. There is nothing you can do to bring back a dead loved one; some diseases have no known cure, etc. If you upset yourself over these problems, you lose sight of the rest of your life and what it has to offer. When you learn to remain calm despite life's difficulties, you will be well on the way to survival and fulfilment.

Courage
Going after what you want in life takes courage. You will achieve very little if you allow your fears to dictate to you how your life will be run. Courage will help you to bounce back from setbacks and to overcome obstacles in your path. In particular, you will need to overcome your fear of failure and your fear of what others think of you. You will also need to overcome your fear of discomfort.

Fear of failure prevents you from taking life-enhancing risks. If you allow yourself to fail from time to time, you allow yourself to try. If you only attempt those tasks at which your are guaranteed to succeed, you won't attempt much, nor will you learn much. It's more important to do than to do well.

You don't need the approval of others for everything that you do. In fact, obtaining everybody's approval is impossible. No matter what you do, you will find that some people admire you for it, some people despise you for it, and others couldn't care less. You only have to look at any well-known musician to see what I mean. They all have their fans, their detractors, and those who have never heard of them. You will lose the approval of some people whether you pursue your goals or not. Under these circumstances, you may as well do what you believe is best.

Going after your goals will take effort. You will need to get out of the comfort of your lounge chair and go to work on your goals. If you spend your life looking for the easy, soft option, you will make life harder for yourself. Don't be afraid of discomfort, it won't kill you. You will find a little effort and some discomfort is more rewarding, in the end, than doing nothing.

Compassion
None of us is perfect. We all have our limitations. Allow yourself and others to be imperfect. Imperfection does not make you less of a human being; it proves that you are human. When you look on the failings of others with compassion, you help to create a kinder, gentler world.

By reaching out to others in need, you teach them to do the same. You become a leader and set an example for others to follow. As more and more people follow your lead, you create a society where survival is easier for all. Survival and fulfilment are easier to obtain in a kinder, gentler, co-operative world, than in a mean spirited, competitive, every-man-for-himself world.

By striving to be calm, courageous, and compassionate you will probably live longer and find fulfilment in your life. The less calm, courageous and compassionate you are the more you will struggle with life. To develop these qualities requires a new way of looking at the world, but before we look at that new way, let's reshape the world.

For centuries it was thought that the world was flat. More recently, we have learned that the Earth is spherical, and that it orbits the Sun, in an insignificant corner of the universe. While I have no desire to challenge this later view, I would like to suggest that you think of your world as three-cornered. I am not suggesting this triangle is the physical shape of the world, but a metaphorical shape. Each corner of the triangle is occupied by one third of a trinity. Of course I'm not referring to the Christian trinity of Father, Son, and Holy Ghost; I am referring to a humanist trinity, one that you can believe in without having to surrender your intellect.

Self
You occupy the first corner. (In my trinity, I occupy the first corner, your neighbour occupies the first corner in her trinity etc). You can only experience the world and your life through yourself. Without you there is no world for you. You are responsible for how you respond to the rest of the world, you are responsible for setting your own goals, and for pursuing them.

What is the most important thing in your life? Many people who try to answer this question will nominate their home, their car, their family, or their health. No matter what you believe to be your most valuable asset, you can not enjoy it unless you are alive. Without you, it is impossible for you to experience life and all that it has to offer. This makes you your own most valuable asset.

You are the most important part of your world. It is imperative that you look after yourself, take responsibility for your health, and seek fulfilment. No one else can do these things for you.

Community
You share your world with other people, and other species, in a fragile ecosystem. These other people, species, and the environment combine to form a community that occupies the second corner of the triangle. The occupants of the second corner depend on you to treat them with respect, and to refrain from needlessly harming them.

The second part of the trinity is there to support you. Without your community, your survival and fulfilment would be impossible. Just as others and the environment depend on you, you depend on them. The first and second corners of the trinity, you and your community, are inter-dependent, you rely on each other.

Mother Nature
Our universe is governed by Laws of nature that have determined its evolution from a single point in space and time to the complex cosmos that it is today. These Laws have combined to produce an environment on this planet that makes it possible for life to form and develop. These Laws are the laws of cause and effect. We call these Laws Mother Nature. Mother Nature sits in the third corner of our triangle.

Mother Nature rules over the universe with an iron glove. She does not care about you or your community. It is not that she is mean spirited, she does what she does out of consistency, not out of spite or out of love. Mother Nature does not need you or your community. She will survive, with or without you. But you need her.

The beauty of Mother Nature is that she is understandable. We may not know everything there is to know about her work, but at least we know that she behaves rationally, logically, and consistently. We know that she does not respond to prayer or wishful thinking. The more we know about her, the easier it is for us to survive and find fulfilment. All the great advances that have been made in technology and medicine over the last hundred years have been as a result of our better understanding of Mother Nature.

Now that we have re-shaped the world into a triangle with you, your community, and Mother Nature occupying each of its corners, let's develop a new way of looking at it. When we re-examine our re-shaped world we find five facts that will help you become calm, courageous, and compassionate.

Feelings
The human experience of life is essentially a feeling experience. It is our broad range of emotions, as much as our intellect, that separates us from other animals. The quality of our life is reflected and governed by our emotions.

There have been many theories advanced about the cause of our emotional experience. However, we now know that our thoughts create our feelings. So the first of the five facts is you feel the way that you think. We can control our emotions by controlling, that is, monitoring and changing, our thoughts. This means that you, not what happens to you, are responsible for the way you feel. If you don't like the way you feel, change the way you think! The remaining four facts are related to the type of thinking that creates or eliminates calmness, courage, and compassion.

Flexibility
Mother Nature's Laws are unbreakable. If you plant an acorn, no matter how much you want an apple tree, the acorn will still only produce an oak tree. But when it comes to man-made laws, we find that they are all breakable. No matter how much legislation you put in place against, say, drug smuggling, you will still find people who smuggle drugs. We may prefer that people refrain from drug smuggling, but our preferences will not prevent it.

This leads us to our second fact: (with the exception of Mother Nature's laws) nothing is compulsory. The major cause of human unhappiness is demanding that the world operate according to our preferences. Over the years we have learned that living our lives under certain guidelines helps us to live harmoniously and productively. However, when we turn these useful guidelines into absolute requirements that must be observed at all time, we demand the impossible.

How can you stay calm when you jump up and down, demanding that the world be different from the way that it is, or when you demand that people treat you the way you would like them to? Calmness, courage, and compassion come from preferring, and working towards certain conditions, without demanding that you always get your own way.

Resilience
We have an unfortunate tendency to underestimate our own resilience. Common expressions such as "I can't stand it" permeate our language. This is an exaggeration. We may not like certain conditions and situations, but very few of them are fatal. This leads to our third fact: anything that doesn't kill you is bearable.

When you tell yourself that you can't stand a situation, you reduce your ability to cope with it. You become overwhelmed by your setbacks because you convince yourself that they represent the end of the world. Calmness, courage, and compassion come from acknowledging that you may not like a certain situation, but admitting that you will survive it, and that you can stand it.

Moderation
Another happiness-destroying exaggeration is the claim that some situations are awful or terrible. These words are meaningless; they don't refer to any known quality. Some situations are bad, others very bad. You can, if you like, invent a scale of badness, on which you rate situations from 1% to 100% bad. All unpleasant and inconvenient situations will fall somewhere on this scale.

But when you rate something as awful or terrible, you put it outside the scale. You make it 101% bad, or worse. That is like saying that someone is more than dead, or over-pregnant. It doesn't make sense. So our fourth fact is nothing is terrible or awful.

Staying calm, courageous, and compassionate is easier when you think in moderate terms that don't exaggerate the unpleasantness or inconvenience of your problems. Learn to see your molehills as molehills, without turning them into mountains.

Equality
Most of us can learn to be reasonably competent at most things. However, very few of us get to be world-beaters. But let's suppose for the moment that you get to be the best in the world at, say, tennis. Does this make you a better person than the number two-ranked player, or just a better tennis player?

We can rate your skill at tennis, but how can we rate you as a person? We can't base it on how well you play tennis, or for that matter, on any single trait that you may possess. So how many traits do we need to form a picture with enough detail for us to rate? Which are the important ones? How do we know that they are the important ones? Who decides? How do we rate the traits, surely being kind to children is better than being a good gardener, but how much better?

Even if we could overcome all these objections, we would still be no better off. Let's say that one of your traits is generosity. You will be more generous on some days than on others. Does this make you a better person on your more generous days? If this were the case, your worth as a person would go up and down like a yo-yo.

All of these questions lead us to the inescapable conclusion that we can not rate people. We can only rate what they do. If we can't rate people, then we can't have some people being better people than others. This leads us to the fifth fact: we are all equal.

If you aren't concerned about how you rate as person, you no longer have to worry about how well you do things, or what people think of you. You are not your behaviour. If you refuse to put others down for their weaknesses, you are less likely to hamper their goals. In other words, when you refuse to rate yourself or others, you are free to be calm, courageous, and compassionate.

Summary
Life has no God-given agenda. There is no secret purpose or meaning to life. You are free to choose you own lifestyle, without having to worry about an imaginary God, or an eternal afterlife.

You will enjoy a good quality of life by pursuing goals that ensure your survival and a high level of fulfilment. You have a duty to look after your health, to look after your environment, and to elect compassionate, peace-seeking governments. You will find fulfilment when you look outside of yourself. When you commit yourself to making life better for others, your own life improves as a by-product of your efforts.

By striving to be calm, courageous, and compassionate you will probably live longer and find fulfilment in your life. The less calm, courageous and compassionate you are the more you will struggle with life.

You live in a three-cornered world that has you in one corner, your community in another, and Mother Nature in the third corner. You and your community rely on each other, and on Mother Nature. She, on the other hand, has no need for you.

There are five facts about your triangular world that, if you bear them in mind, will lead you to a more rewarding existence. These facts are: (1) you feel the way that you think, (2) nothing is compulsory, (3) anything that doesn't kill you is bearable, (4) nothing is terrible or awful, and (5) we are all equal.

Discernment

Discernment is a term used in Christian tradition to describe the process of discerning God's will for one's life. In large part, it describes the interior search for an answer to the question of one's vocation, namely, determining whether or not God is calling one to the married life, single life, religious life; ordained ministry or priesthood (Roman Catholic or Anglican/Episcopal) or any other ministerial calling by virtue of Baptism. The concept is not limited to ordination or vowed life.

All moral conduct may be summed up in the rule: avoid evil and do good. In the language of Christian asceticism, spirits, in the broad sense, is the term applied to certain complex influences, capable of impelling the will, the ones toward good, the others toward evil.

However, in the restricted sense, spirits indicate the various spiritual agents which, by their suggestions and movements, may influence the moral value of our acts. Concupiscence, disturbances of the imagination and errors of sensibility, thwart or pervert the operations of the intellect and will, by deterring the one from the true and the other from the good (Genesis 8:21; James 1:14). In opposition to our vitiated nature, or so to speak, to the flesh which drags us into sin, the Holy Spirit acts within us by grace, a supernatural help given to our intellect and will to lead us back to good and to the observance of the moral law (Epistle to the Romans 7:22-25). Besides these two spirits, the human and the Divine, in the actual order of Providence, two others must be observed. The Creator willed that there should be communication between angels and men, and as the angels are of two kinds, good and bad, the latter try to win us over to their rebellion and the former endeavour to make us their companions in obedience. Hence four spirits lay siege to our liberty: the angelic and the Divine seeking its good, and the human (in the sense heretofore mentioned) and the diabolical its misery.

Scriptural basis

The scriptural basis for the discernment of spirits can be found in Galatians 5:16-24. Following the will of the spirit leads to holiness and following the will of the flesh leads to sin. This also opens the door to Satan. The will of the flesh is easy to be fooled and leads to rationalizations of conduct and makes idols of the things of this world. This gift allows a person to see into the spiritual realm, with the naked eye to "discern" what activity is taking place. Either it is right or wrong. "Discernment of spirits" is the term given to the judgment whereby to determine from what spirit the impulses of the soul emanate, and it is easy to understand the importance of this judgment both for self-direction and the direction of others. Now this judgment may be formed in two ways. In the first case the discernment is made by means of an intuitive light which infallibly discovers the quality of the movement; it is then a gift of God. Second, discernment of spirits may be obtained through studying of the Bible, dependence on God, and being sensitive to God’s leading. It is then not just an acquired human knowledge; it is a spiritual gift. It is procured, always, of course, through a right walking with God. The necessity of self-direction and of directing others, when one had charge of souls, produced documents, preserved in spiritual libraries, from the perusal of which one may see that the discernment of spirits is a science of the Church.

Ignatian view

For St. Ignatius of Loyola, the discernment of spirits is part of everyone's spiritual journey. No one who is trying to make spiritual progress should attempt to do so alone - a spiritual director is required. A director assists a Christian in examining the motives, desires, consolations, and desolations in one's life. Objectively, one can know what is right from looking at the Ten Commandments and the Seven Deadly Sins in a thorough examination of conscience. But the broader picture of one's life is often not so clear. A Christian should, according to St. Ignatius, share everything with a director who can see things objectively, without being swayed by the emotions or passion. Discerning whether the good spirit (the influence of God, the Church, one's soul) or the bad spirit (the influence of Satan, the world, the flesh) is at work requires calm, rational reflection. The good spirit brings us to peaceful, joyful decisions. The bad spirit often brings us to make quick, emotional, conflicted decisions. A spiritual director can assist both by personal experience, listening with care, and giving an objective analysis.

Charismatic view

If sexual harassment is defined as "unwelcome attention," then possession may be defined as "unwelcome intrusion of interference by a spirit into one's thoughts, will and/or body."

 

Anyone can be a victim of evil spirits or demonic possession. Even very religious and prayerful persons have been known to be possessed.

 

Modern western psychology and psychiatry do not consider demonic possession to be a clinical reality. However, more enlightened practitioners and researchers now feel that certain types of psychosis (such as schizophrenia), or any sudden or radical change in behavior, can be signs of spirit possession.

 

What kinds of spirits do this? Why do they possess the living? What is their purpose?

 

This is how Brad Steiger, a well-known prolific American psychic researcher and author explains it:

 

"Current modalities of the universe maintain that energy can never be destroyed. Therefore, it is reasoned, even though we may discard our bodies at death, the Soul energy that we have created during our lifetime exists even after we have died. At death, this psychic energy force separates itself from the body and begins a new existence on the spirit level.

 

"A number of parapsychologists have declared that there may be very little difference between the two worlds. The electromagnetic structure of the soul continues to have the same habits, thoughts, memories, feelings and flaws as existing in the physical plane.

 

"Thus, if a person has spent his entire existence in pursuit of pleasure, the psychic soul personality will experience the same mediumistic drives after death. He will attempt to return to all his old, pleasurable places.

 

"Think of the tremendous, unresolved shock when someone dies unexpectedly and enters the spirit world. And if there were additional negative factors, such as a feud left unsettled, an old score left unpaid, an argument left unresolved, then that spirit might hunger to return to the physical world and obtain vengeance."

 

Such a negative and earthbound spirit may seek to attach itself to a susceptible person and make him or her do things unnatural to and against his or her will. Such spirits become parasites.

 

Signs of Spirit Possession

 

Any or a combination of the following behavior pattern is indicative of spirit or demonic possession:

 

1. Hearing voices directing the person to perform acts he may not have considered doing.

 

2. He or she will frequently see or sense the image of the possessing spirit as it existed in its physical life.

 

3. The victim may blackout or faint without knowing what transpired during that time.

 

4. Sometimes, in the midst of a conversation, he may have a mental block and act in a trance-like manner.

 

5. He may be observed talking or walking differently or acting in a strange, irrational manner.

 

6. He may act in a way he has never done before. His friends may see him as a totally different person.

 

7. In a worst scenario, the possession may reach a climax where the person may commit a crime, some violent or anti-social act and even suicide.

 

8. He or she may speak in tongues, and perform lewd acts and avoid religious objects (like a crucifix, rosary, etc.)

 

According to another researcher, clinical psychologist Edith Fiore, over 50 percent of those confined in mental hospitals in the United States are not insane but victims of spirit possession. I wonder what would be the estimated percentage in Philippine hospitals. Considering our people's greater sensitivity to spirit forces and poor diagnostic procedures, perhaps the percentage of possessed individuals confined in mental hospitals here is greater.

 

1. Have a positive, cheerful attitude. Since on the mental and spirit plane "like attracts like," a positive attitude will attract positive and benign spirits to you.

 

2. Maintain harmony and balance in your mind, body and spirit. Keep your emotional side especially in check and not prone to outbursts of anger.

 

3. Avoid being in the company of highly negative people or going to negative places. Negative individuals can sap your energy and drain you, thereby making spirit possession easier. The same in places with negative or earthbound spirits, for example, hospitals, cemeteries, wakes or haunted houses.

 

4. Remember you have free will. You are the master of your own life and destiny. Do not allow another entity to conquer or over-power your will. Remember even God respects our will and will not do anything to go against it. Only evil spirits try to overpower our will. Do not succumb to such attempts. Assert your will over any other entity and command it to "Begone!"

 

5. Carry protective or sacred objects with you. If you are a Christian, you may carry with you some powerful religious objects that you believe in. For example, St. Benedict's medal, which was specially charged or blessed by an authorized Benedictine Priest, can help protect you against demonic possession. If you believe in quartz crystals or amulets, have one specially blessed or charged by a competent person to protect you.

 

6. Practice discernment. If an evil spirit is present, you can sense this. Your body will react in a different way compared to the presence of a good spirit. Learn to distinguish them. Discernment is one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit according to St. Paul.

Self-actualisation is a term coined by psychologist Abraham Maslow to describe the ongoing process of fully developing your personal potential. The first thing to note about self-actualisation is that it is a process not a goal. In other words, self-actualisation is not something that you aim for: it is something that you do. The second thing to note is that self-actualisation is not restricted to high-profile, high-achieving individuals; you don't have to be famous to self-actualise.

Self-actualisers feel safe, calm, accepted, loved, loving and alive. They share a number of characteristics:

1. Peak experiences. Self-actualisers frequently experience moments of high excitement, ecstasy, harmony and deep meaning.
2. Higher purpose. Self-actualisers have a mission in life. They attempt to solve problems and pursue goals that are outside of themselves.
3. Spontaneous. Self-actualisers are willing to take risks and experiment with their lives. They are unrestrained and uninhibited.
4. Fresh and renewed appreciation. Every day provides an opportunity to enjoy the good things that life has to offer. Self-actualisers never tire of seeing (for example) a golden sunset. Their enjoyment and appreciation are as intense the twentieth time as they were the first.
5. Social interest. Self-actualisers take an interest in others. They care about the well being of others and the community in which they live. Additionally, their relationships with loved ones are deep and committed.
6. Comfortable with being alone. As well as enjoying close relationships with others, self-actualisers enjoy their own company. They regularly enjoy being alone.
7. Sense of humor. Self-actualisers are able to laugh at themselves. Because their sense of humor is non-hostile, they are able to make jokes about others that are not hurtful or spiteful.
8. Critical thinking. Self-actualisers are not easily fooled. They are both open-minded and skeptical, willing to consider all ideas, but equally willing to dismiss them if they don't stand up to critical analysis.
9. Accepting of imperfection. Self-actualisers are comfortable with their own flaws as well as the flaws in others. Similarly, they calmly accept that life is full of uncertainty and frustration.
10. Self-directed. Self-actualisers are autonomous; they choose the direction of their own lives. They are independent and resourceful.

How to self-actualise
Unfortunately there is no pill you can take that will turn you into a self-actualiser overnight, but there are some steps that you can take starting now that will head you in the right direction:

1. Assess your life. Are you living a life that you find deeply rewarding and meaningful? This is not a "once-only" step. It's a question you'll need to ask yourself regularly.
2. Assess your motives. Are you holding yourself back because of fear? Base your life choices on a desire to grow, rather than as a reaction to fear.
3. Be willing to change. If your life isn't rewarding you'll need to be willing to change, willing to get off your backside and take a new direction.
4. Take responsibility. Don't expect others to make changes for you. It's your life and its up to you to make the necessary changes that will lead to greater fulfillment.
5. Cherish your uniqueness. Be prepared to break away from the herd and be different. Don't be afraid to follow your impulses.
6. Realise your dreams. Instead of wallowing in wishful thinking, write down your goals and take the appropriate action to achieve them.
7. Accept your fallibility. Be willing to say, "I was wrong." Be honest with yourself and with others.
8. Learn from the good times. Try to repeat experiences that you find deeply meaningful or awe-inspiring or that lead to feelings of excitement, ecstasy, humility or personal fulfillment.
9. Join in. Get involved in life. Become an active member of your community.
10. Look for the good in others. Every one of us has good points and bad. All too often we overlook the good and focus on the bad. Get into the habit of looking for the good in others.
11. Assess your progress. Take the time to reflect on all that you've accomplished as well as to honestly assess how you can do more to improve your life and the lives of those around you.

Hierarchy of human needs
No discussion of self-actualisation would be complete without a mention of Maslow's Hierarchy of needs. Some needs are more basic and therefore more powerful than others. Our basic needs are physiological: food, water, sleep, sex etc. Once these needs have been satisfied, we seek safety and security. Once we feel safe, we are free to pursue love and a sense of belonging. Our next goal is for esteem and self-esteem. It is when you meet these goals that you can more fully focus on growth needs that lead to self-actualisation.